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genre: biography | date finished: 10/30/20 | rating: ★★★☆☆
favorite line: "In Denmark 'man up' means to not be like a baby. In the United States, it means to not be like a woman."
This book turned out different than what I was expecting. Completely missing what the genre was, I expected this to be a sociological study on America's masculinity crisis. Despite not being a research report, I was not disappointed as this was still a commentary on American toxic masculinity, but in the form of a firsthand primary source. McBee, a transgender man, and a boxer, provides an account of the new, more privileged world he has inherited now that the world sees him as a man instead of a woman. From suddenly being able to go on runs alone at night with headphones in, to getting propositioned into street fights from random men on the street, to no longer being interrupted in work meetings, McBee adjusts to his new life as a man while observing the relationships and psyches of the stereotypically masculine men he trains with. He observes the behavior of the men in his life and how they behave and interact with each other―starved for intimacy and human connection, but to afraid to express it. Although I found his writing to be scattered and mildly incoherent, making it difficult to follow along with the storyline of his training process, and there were moments where his writing was, ironically, amateur. Although the subject matter was for adults, the writing felt like it was for children. His personal reflections were insightful and I was truly able to get inside of his mind: a curious observer still adjusting to the perils of manhood, wanting to help, but unsure how. This book would be a 4 or 5-star read for me if there were an easier to follow storyline, and if there was more complexity. McBee sporadically brings up profound ideas, but doesn't elaborate on them. Gender politics and identity are topics that have insurmountable potent for exploration, but at times the analysis was surface-level and therefore slightly disappointing. Overall, it was an entertaining and engaging read and seemingly a great beginner-level introduction to learning about gender identity and masculinity.